about ageing

I’ve got an email from a friend where she was describing her emotional issue: having crush on much younger guy

she is a mature student, (over 40) and he’s 27/28 lad from same year

I’m not going to tell you all complicated story but what hit me the most in her email was that she was apparently ashamed of her age

she had a problem telling how old she is to her younger co-students (male and female)

she was dodging the question and, on top of it, getting rather upset about the fact that her crush may find out

as a woman at 43 years of age I can understand why she feels this way

we live in a culture that puts youth on pedestal, expecially for women

if you’re not young and pretty, you’re not fuckable enough-you don’t matter, you disappear

also when you’re fat

so god forbid being over 40, regular, overweight female-you should cease to exist in society’s eyes

and then… you DON’T

well I DON’T

and I never felt like I should

younger lovers? bring it on!

my wonderful partner? yep, nine years younger

did I experience invisibility? oh yes

very much so

but I did not run away from good things, from beauty, from interesting relationships because of age difference

we are told by media, society, whatever, that over 40 we’re done as attractive, sexual, sensual beauties (unless we look like photoshopped models, spend hours at gym or money on cosmetics and plastic surgeries)

well I say BULLSHIT

it’s not a competition with younger women and if we see relationships as such we won’t go far anyway

we’ve made it ladies! we’ve made it through highs and lows, through hearbreaks and challenges, through good times and terrible times

we have wrinkles and grey hair

some of us are fat, some have parts missing, scars and hair in weird places

but we survived! we made it!

we can do make up and colour our hair (I do, I love my red coloured hair) or we can grow out grey and stop shaving our legs-that’s cool too

we can NOT GIVE A FUCK of what people think about us and we can be proud of our age and who we are

also when the  young beautiful men are attracted to us and us to them WE CAN GO FOR IT joyfully and without shame and guilt

because there is nothing wrong with it 🙂

tell him your age dear, do it with pride and be happy about it

and if he’s got a problem with it he’s not the right person to have anything going on with anyway :p

but he won’t if he likes you 😉

being happy and selfassured is the sexiest thing ever

so yeah, lovely middleaged ladies

we are AMAZING!

not because 40 is new 30

but beacuse 40 is AWESOME! 😀

IMG_7796

over 40 and feeling beautiful 🙂

 

 

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About RudaKawa

Jestem szurniętą kobietą w średnim wieku, wiedźmą, poetką, wymądrzalską Małą Mi, która nie wiedzieć po co dorosła, mieszkam w Irlandii, na wsi, z moimi rudymi kotami i ukochaną sunią. Czytam, piszę, tańczę i śpiewam, piję hektolitry kawy i zagryzam czekoladą, mam serce i ciało w rozmiarze XXL, jestem uboga groszem, ale bogata duchem, zapraszam!! :)
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3 Responses to about ageing

  1. novincza says:

    It’s because we are listening to wrong songs and people. And we’re doing it so bad, that we forgeting about listening to our harts. I hope that friend of yours will read this, the message from me is:”Go, girl!”.
    I love your look on that pict, its really great.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. naosei38 says:

    You are looking great on this photo, with your hair done, make up and that sexy dress.
    I am not really sure about that “not giving a fuck” thing. I noticed that whenever I think “Who cares (if I shaved my legs)” I say it, cause I actually really care at that moment. (And the rest of the world – most probably – not.)
    I have that “I don’t give a fuck” attitude when I know, that for my standards, I am not feeling comfortable with myself. One day it can be going to work with dirty hair, other day having a massive hangover.
    I actually have a feeling that I see more and more fantastic, fully grown up women 🙂 in media, women with grey hair, wrinkles and passions. That we’ve got too smart to be tricked with all that photoshop stuff, and we don’t buy it anymore.
    Or maybe I look at different media than before.
    In each case – I wouldn’t say that being 40 is better than being 30, or 20, there are certain disadvantages 🙂 BUT it is in our hands to feel great being 40 (with some exceptions, of course).

    Like

    • CoffeeFox says:

      the “not give a fuck” is real in my case, in case of my friend it needs to be worked on 😉
      when I do give fucks I say I do 😀
      thankfully since my 40th birthday I really don’t
      sometimes I forget and start thinking: maybe and then I remind myself: oi, WHY CARE?
      and woosh! “maybe” is gone
      and about my own standarts… well those changed as well! and they changed to: I’m grand the way I am, thanks 😀
      I like me new standarts ;p

      Like

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